A downloadable game

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It is dark in the chapel, save for a razor of moonlight falling through stained glass.

The baronet grins. His lips peel back, exposing long teeth.

He is young. Has always been young. Will always be young.

And the reason for his unending youth lies on the bier before him.

A farmer, just a few years past middle age, as beautiful and robust as the fields, stirs from unconsciousness.

His blood will be like mulled wine on this cold night.

The baronet leans in, fangs parting, nostrils flaring with the heady scent of life, when suddenly the doors to the chapel slam open so forcefully that the stone walls shudder.

"Your nights are over, monster!" says a high, squeaky voice from the doorway.

The baronet looks down.

Bathed in the moonlight is a summer squash. It is carrying a rapier.

"Squashbuckler..." growls the baronet.

The summer squash raises its sword in salute, and then it lunges.


You are a blade-wielding garden vegetable.

Sworn to serve no lord and no country, you roam the earth seeking one goal: the defeat of all vampires.

Squashbuckler is a 20 page dice-rolling TRPG---in an extremely literal way. Your opponents' Hit Points determine how many stacking blocks they set up. Your stats determine how many dice you have to knock them down.

Included in this core rule book is all the information you need to create your own Squashbuckler, instructions on how to play as the Vampire Master for a group of Squashbucklers, and a sample scenario: Betrayal In The House Of Our Gourd.


Buy Now$5.00 USD or more

In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $5 USD. You will get access to the following files:

Squashbuckler 4.23.21.pdf 2 MB

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This is maybe the most fun I've ever had reading a game. The text is hilarious and plays up the game's silly tone. It's actually very inspiring from a game dev perspective - I want to be able to write game text like this someday! It's guaranteed to put a smile on your face.